Author Archives: alisongardiner1

…would be a perfect excuse for a certain amount of mental malfunction recently. The only minor inconvenience is that I don’t possess a dog. The children long ago came to realise that when I’m slightly distracted bad things happen. Very … Continue reading →

Tomato  hurling.  Chucking  tomatoes  at  your  nearest  and  dearest  or,  if  your  throwing  arm  is  good  enough,  at  your  furthest  and  worstest,  or  indeed  complete  strangers.  Covering  everyone  and  everything  in  sight  with  squishy  red  pulp  and  sticky  scarlet  juice.  … Continue reading →

January guilt has struck again. However, I’m beginning to feel that rather than giving up chocolate, cheese, alcohol and losing weight (that’s losing weight; not giving up losing weight ) I should give up guilt. Perhaps the same theory as … Continue reading →

  “Money please. I’d like something to drink and a llama,” announced my daughter. Slightly startled, I immediately wondered if I had enough cash on me, as, having not been to the local market for years, I’m completely out of … Continue reading →

It’s annual family newsletters open season. Yet, because too much serious stuff brings me out in hives, ours is probably the only newsletter circulating that contains no substance at all. The tack taken is Oscar Wilde’s ethos (not his exact … Continue reading →

  I have just returned from Greece. Having not been there for more than 20 years, it was a culture shock to find it entirely unchanged. In fact it was exactly as, with a bit of forethought, I could have … Continue reading →

With four children it gets difficult to remember their names so they get called all sorts; each other’s, husband’s, cat’s, although generally not the grandparents. ‘GrandmaFrances’ to an 11 year old would be bizarre, even for me. People think that … Continue reading →

My 90 year old mother is turning into a fruitcake. Her memory is that of a butterfly, her reasoning seeming to rely on two neurones and a single synapse. Currently she lives in old people’s home close to the centre … Continue reading →

Bizarre.  I’m being offered Olympic tickets from all sorts of sources, all legit I think, when only a few months ago my carefully filled in application was declined. Hours had been poured into working out what dates and times we … Continue reading →

My random musings meandered recently to oats. I’m beginning to believe that this humble cereal may not be quite as dull as it seems from first glance. Mystery, an interesting present, an exotic past are attached to this tiny grain, … Continue reading →